


Conversations in the Impala

by YellowLipstick



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Brother/Brother Incest, Cussing, Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Emotionally Repressed Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Past Dean Winchester/Other(s), Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Pining Sam Winchester, Shock, Sibling Incest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:04:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21763456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowLipstick/pseuds/YellowLipstick
Summary: Sam & Dean’s conversations in the Impala.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Other(s), Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Satellite

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for complete songs.

“Dean.”

“No.”

“Dean.”

“Sammy. No.”

“Ask me. Ask me about her, Dean. I know you want to. I want you to.”

“...”

“Her favorite food? Cheeseburgers. Her favorite music? Classic rock. Her hobbies? Vintage car restoration and shooting.”

“...”

“I was gonna marry her.”

“Then what was the point of you leaving? What was the friggin point of any of this?”

“You made me leave. You forced me to try for a normal life. Away from you. And it didn’t work. So I guess the point was for you to hurt me.”

“Come on, Sammy. You know I would never want to hurt you. My entire life has been devoted to protecting you from getting hurt.”

“Well. Jess is dead. Dad is missing. And what are you gonna do with me now? You’re stuck with me. And we have work to do.”

“We’ll find you a girl.”

“Oh yeah? And how many girls did you find for yourself while I was at college, huh?”

“Sammy, don’t do this.”

“No, Dean. I wanna know. How many?”

“I...lost count.”

“Wow.”

“Look, I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you.”

“But we both know you want to.”

“...”

“All brunettes?”

“What?”

“Were they all brunettes?”

“...”

“Bet they all had brown eyes too, right?”

“Fuck off, Sam.”

“And how many of them had names that started with ‘s’? Did you ever yell the wrong name? How many did you manage to find that were actually taller than you, huh?”

“Sam, are you really gonna do this? The whole time we’re looking for Dad?”

“I’m gonna do this till you pull your stubborn head out of your stubborn ass and admit you feel the same way I do. I’m not gonna let you force me away again. I’m not a little kid anymore, and I haven’t been for a while, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh, you wanna talk about feelings, Samantha? Great. Let’s have a friggin sleepover and paint each other's nails too, yeah? Dad’s missing, Sam. That’s the only reason I went after you. I need your help. And this? This is not helping.”

“I missed you too, Dean. I tried, for you, I really, really tried.”

“Look. Let’s find a place to sleep for the night, okay?”

“One bed?”

“Two, Sam.”

“Dean. It’s been years. I’ve missed you. And I know you won’t say it, but I know you missed me too.”

“Fine. One bed.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“Just for tonight.”

* * *

Everything was right in the world again. With his face pushed against Dean’s collarbones, his arms looped around his big brother’s plush hips, their legs tangled together and Sam’s toes hanging off the end of the bed, just so he could scoot down Dean’s body like this; where his face could be pushed against Dean’s collarbones. 

It was laughable now. How had he ever thought he could marry Jess and be any semblance of happy? He would have run out on her before they made it to the one year mark of their sham of a marriage. Chasing Dean, always chasing his big brother. Dean had spent most of Sam’s life chasing after his little brother, keeping him safe, raising him, practically. But then Sam had started chasing after Dean. And nothing had ever been quite the same since.

He inhaled, and squeezed his eyes shut, wishing this could never end. He wanted to stay suspended in this moment. Surrounded by Dean’s leather and gunpowder scent, pressed against his warm body; safe. He was always safe with Dean. And only with Dean. 

He nuzzled against Dean’s collarbones, placing butterfly-soft kisses to the warm skin, stretched thin over his big brother’s jutting clavicles. 

“Sammy...”

Dean mumbled in his sleep and clutched at Sam convulsively. Sam smiled, turned his kisses to bites, and Dean groggily hummed and pressed scratchy kisses to Sam’s forehead and hair.

But then Dean woke up, fully. He pushed Sam away, rolled over to hide his hard cock, which had been pushing against Sam’s stomach so nicely, and grumbled unintelligibly before leaving the bed for the bathroom and a cold shower.

* * *

“No friggin hipster music or whatever this crap is.”

“It’s a good song, Dean.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.” 


	2. Peaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean throws himself into danger to protect Sam.

He was shaking and he couldn’t stop. He knew he was being a fucking idiot. This was the life. This was their life. And how many times had he seen his big brother on the wrong end of a gun? A knife? A monster’s ire? Countless times. But for whatever reason, seeing it all fresh after his years away had really fucked him up. 

He was shaking and he couldn’t stop. He huddled in the passenger seat of the Impala and tried to force his trembling to still, while Dean finished talking to the local police outside. It wasn’t working. He was still shaking and he couldn’t stop.

* * *

“Sam?”

“...”

“Sammy!”

“Sammy, come on man, what’s wrong? Sammy! Your teeth are chattering; are you in shock or something? Are you cold? Do I need to ask the cops for one of those silver blanket things? Sammy? Sammy!”

“D-Dean. I-I’m f-fine.”

“No you’re not. What’s wrong?”

“J-just...I-I’m f-fine.”

“Sammy, you’re not fine.”

“P-please, Dean.”

* * *

Dean’s strong arms wrapped around Sam’s wide shoulders. His big brother was shorter than he was, less broad, smaller in most ways, but he felt larger to Sam. He felt like safety, home, and love, to Sam. When Dean was holding him, everything was alright again. 

His shaking and tremors slowed before eventually calming to a complete stillness.

Dean probably thought Sam wouldn’t notice, or maybe he was just too stressed to notice himself, but while holding his baby brother in his arms, Dean had pressed his lips to the top of Sam’s head and was petting them against his hair, while murmuring gruffly, trying to reassure Sam. 

* * *

“Please don’t do that again.”

“What? Do what, Sam?”

“Throw yourself in the line of fire like that. You’re not expendable, Dean.”

“Sammy, I will always do anything to protect you. And if that means throwing myself in front of some stupid jackass monster, then that’s that.”

“No. It’s not okay. It’s...it’s why I was shaking. I was upset. I thought you were going to get torn apart.”

“Sammy. You know...”

“Yeah, I know, this is the life. But that doesn’t mean you have to be stupidly reckless.”

“Protecting you isn’t stupidly reckless. And I’m not taking it back, I don’t regret what I did.”

* * *

Dean turned the music up at Sam’s stony silence. But he reached his hand over and placed it on Sammy’s thigh, squeezing briefly in an attempt to comfort him. He wouldn’t apologize for protecting his little brother but that didn’t mean he liked seeing him upset. 

Sam caught Dean’s fingers and laced them with his own, and almost smiled when Dean didn’t pull his hand back. 

They’d be okay. They had each other, and things would be alright. 

* * *

“You know in this life, we won’t live too long.”

“Yeah, Sam, I know.”

“And is it worth it to you?”

“What?”

“To push me away, to deny us what we both clearly want? When we could die tomorrow?”

“Sammy.”

“I mean, I just fell apart because you were a dumb, reckless idiot.”

“Sam. Stop.”

“Is that why you’ve been drinking all week? You can’t deal with this? With me?”

“This conversation is over.”

* * *

The conversation wasn’t over though. Not when they had pulled the Impala over under the shade of some trees on the side of the road to take a quick nap. They had been driving all night and had finally given in to their exhaustion. 

Instead, they talked with their bodies. Dean grumbled when Sam smiled like the sunshine above them, but still tugged his tall, younger brother into his arms, wrapping him up securely against his chest while they both dozed in the lazy afternoon sunshine. 

It was the only way they could both feel safe anymore. And when Sam kissed him upon waking, sweet as peach pie, Dean could only sigh and kiss him back. He really couldn’t keep denying them both. 


	3. Lost Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pie and wanting. But is Dean worth it?

“So...”

“So...? What Dean?”

“Are you gonna give up?”

“On...?”

“Me...you...”

“On us?”

“There’s no ‘us’. At least not the way you mean it...now.”

“Now?”

“I was thinkin’. What is it that you want so bad? I’m not...I mean, look at me Sammy. Really look. Take the kid brother blinders off. I’m not worth this, this trouble, this whatever this is you’re going through. I’m just not worth it.”

“Dean. You are.”

“Diner?”

* * *

“Pie?”

“I’ll take a slice of your peach pie, please and thank you.”

“I didn’t know you liked peach pie.”

“I like every kind of pie, Sam. It’s Heaven’s food.”

* * *

“So...”

“So...? Sammy?”

“So, have you thought any about what we were talking about earlier?”

“No.”

“That’s it? Just ‘no’?”

“No.”

“You’re such an ass.”

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

* * *

Dean held Sam in his arms again that night. His little brother was snuffling and snoring against his shoulder and it felt like he was drooling on Dean’s shirt-gross. But he couldn’t bring himself to disturb Sam’s sleep. Not when he was sleeping peacefully, no nightmares to be found, for once. 

Actually, whenever Sam wheedled his way into sharing a bed with Dean like when they were kids, except without all the cuddling and kissing crap, then Dean noticed Sam slept better than usual, better than ever, really. 

He tightened his arms around Sam. His Sammy. His everything. Fuck. What was he going to do about this shit show?

* * *

“Dean, lets go!”

“I’m finishing my pie, Sammy! Let a man enjoy his pie!”

“Get a room.”

“Yes, let’s.”

“...what?”


	4. Riptide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam reminisces on the beginning of his romantic relationship with Dean.

Sam couldn’t believe it. They had left the diner. They were in the Impala. On their way to a shitty hotel. 

* * *

It had started at the beach. Sam was 14. Dean had seen Sam naked a lot when he had been younger; Dean would change his diapers, had potty trained him, and bathed him until he was 10. But Sam had never seen Dean naked. And Dean hadn’t seen Sam naked since he had been 10, in a shitty hotel bathtub. 

But they had been at the beach that day. Dad had been off hunting a monster. Dean had been stuck hunting Sam (as Sam had liked to think of it in his head). And Dean hadn’t been naked, but he had taken his shirt off, and Sam had his first real sexual awakening at the site of his older brother’s chiseled chest. He hadn’t ever felt that way about anyone else, that attracted to anyone else. He could get it up for men and women, but he had cum in his pants that day on the hot sand while Dean had napped shirtless next to him on an old sheet they had laid down from the hotel closet. 

Later it would grow much deeper than physical attraction. Sam started seeing Dean and his role as carer in a different light. Dean was his only constant; his singular source of safety, love, companionship, and guidance. His brotherly devotion turned to romantic devotion. Sam had started holing himself up when Dean would go out with a girl. It hurt. He would cry and scream. But it didn’t matter. He was just Dean’s baby brother. He had even tried dating a couple girls himself but it made him feel-nothing. He felt nothing with them. Numb. 

And then Sam had gotten Dean into his bed after he had finally turned eighteen and his big brother could be forced to see him as more than a kid. 

But he could see the guilt eat at Dean. He thought he was corrupting Sam. He thought he was hurting him. So Sam waited. He ended things, flinched at the barely hidden relief in Dean’s eyes, and waited. And now here they were again, running back to each other. Again. 

* * *

“You sure about this, Sammy?”

“Always.”

* * *

Dean shut the door and Sam crowded him against it, bracketing the shorter hunter in between his long arms. Sam was hungry, always hungry for Dean. He couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop. Maybe even if he saw guilt flash in Dean’s expression, maybe he wouldn’t even stop then. 

Sam bit Dean’s neck sharply, leaving a mark, before dragging his teeth lower and sucking a bruise into Dean’s skin, where it peeked from the collar of his shirt. 

“Fuck, Sammy.”

“Say it again, Dean.”

“...”

“I want to know that you know who you’re with, Dean. Say my name again,” Sam grunted possessively, before viciously knocking their hips together.

“Sammy...fuck, Sammy. Like that, Baby.”

Sam snorted, pulling back from Dean, “You thinking of the Impala?”

Dean’s cheeks turned a ruddy shade of red and he grumbled out, “No, damn it, it’s just the only pet name I can think of when my brain is this gone on you.”

“Yeah, okay, Baby.”

“Shut up, Bitch.”

“Make me, Jerk.”

Dean manhandled Sam over to the crappy bed, bowed in the center, and it squealed loudly in protest at the large man’s weight as Sam dropped onto it with a low bounce. 

Dean climbed over Sam, straddled his hips, pressing their hardened sexes together through their jeans, and kissed Sam thickly, his unshaven scruff scratching Sam’s face comfortingly. 

Sam was idly wondering if he had any lube when one of their phones went off. Fuck. 

It was a potential lead on their Dad. Fuck. 


	5. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers stop at a hotel for another night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue this or end it here? Is there interest in this? Anything anyone would like to see as far as requests go?

“Are we gonna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Dean.”

“Jesus, Samantha, why do you always want to talk?”

“Because it’s good for you, Dean. Like salad.”

“Oh, here we go...”

* * *

But when it was time to find a hotel for the night, Dean requested one bed, all while very carefully not looking at Sam. 

The door shut behind them, they were finally alone.

“One bed, huh?”

“Cram it.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.”

* * *

And when the lights were off, Sam crunched himself up as small as he could and cuddled closely in the circle of Dean’s arms. Safe. He felt safe and sound, like he didn’t anywhere or with anyone else. 

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:  
Satellite by Guster
> 
> Peaches by In The Valley Below
> 
> Lost Between (feat. Marcus Bridge) by Thousand Below
> 
> “Riptide” by Vance Joy
> 
> “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons
> 
> “Run Right Back” by The Black Keys
> 
> “Safe and Sound” by Capital Cities


End file.
